Parts of group therapy can be difficult, sometimes quite distressing, because you are hearing other people’s stories and their pain coming out, sometimes for the first time in years. Any stories I hear is not something I will go into in any blogs, because the important part of group therapy is the ability to feel safe to share in a safe environment.
I felt much less nervous going to this week’s therapy. I strangely already feel like I have known the group ages, and everyone has already began opening up so much, which shows a feeling of safety.
Today we began with going round each person and explaining what our weeks had been like if it was the weather. Some people had wintry, foggy, drizzly, sunny.
I described my week as towards the end of last week beginning of week, feeling very bleak, like rain with fog, struggling to see ahead. I mentioned that I had a much better day the day before. I was asked why?! I explained I felt like I was getting more support, beginning to understand myself a bit more and why I am feeling the way I am. I’m recognising certain emotions and what has happened in my life, and there being a reason why I am feeling the way I am.
I was then asked if I felt it is okay to feel the way I am. I hesitantly responded yes, but that I had also been punishing myself a lot recently for feeling this way, however I’m trying to be more understanding of myself.
Yesterday I also saw a very dark rain cloud, and a very slight rainbow coming through the clouds, and the rainbow felt like there could be a little bit of hope on the horizon, but that it is hard to see at the moment.
The therapist explained about the fear I may feel of however hard I work, is this going to work?! Life can feel like one thing after another, if it isn’t that, it’s this and how will I deal with all of this?! and if I go back there I will have to feel all these emotions. What will happen to me?! will I be okay?!
We can’t change our pasts or what has happened in our lives, but we can work through the trauma of it. Sometimes painful things do happen and we can’t change that, what we can change is how isolating it feels, and how we experience it.
We also spoke about how much we worry about what people think about us. This is where the compassion focused therapy will come in, learning how to build from within us. Sometimes we all doubt ourselves, and many of the group recognise they are doing this a lot of the time.
Another discussion was emotions, how so many of us are afraid to show emotion, or confront them, yet how unhelpful it is to suppress them. One of the hardest things you go through in therapy is learning to feel, and experiencing what that is like. We need to accept that sometimes we are angry and sometimes we are sad, beyond sad, and we need to be able to sit with it and not berate ourselves or others for it, because the feeling isn’t the problem however awful it makes you feel the other stuff.
Getting an understanding and acceptance that our emotions can influence our mood is powerful, because often emotions can come from nowhere.
At the end of the session we had to think of a time in our lives where someone was really kind to us, and to focus on that feeling. It shows we have an ability to feel compassion. Those defining moments that showed us we are valid, and we matter.
Eventually our brain will go into ‘I know I was cared about’ which helps to begin to build self compassion. We know the feeling does exist within us of being okay being ourselves.
At the end of the session we had to think of
sairyd 
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