Archive | April, 2017

Toxic People

21 Apr

“Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go.

Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make yourself a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend , or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful – you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.”

Daniell Koepke

F-E-A-R – FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE.

19 Apr

‘Forget everything and run’

‘Face everything and rise’

“A comfort place is a beautiful thing, but nothing ever grows there”.

Anxiety can be crippling. It has can hold us back from the big things and the little things in our life. It is natural everyone suffers from some anxiety in their lives, if you are in a stressful situation or worried about something. However chronic anxiety is when this starts to enter every part of your life. From the moment, you wake up until the moment you sleep.

I first experienced crippling anxiety when I had a bad experience on a missionary trip to Africa. Although perfectly innocent it was my first trip so far from home in a totally different surrounding. I had suffered no anxiety or nerves leading up to this trip, but after arriving in Namibia my friends who I was with got directed to the exit in the airport and I was diverted to a tiny room unable to alert them. There security guards in rubber gloves made me open my case and went through my entire belongings I had on me. Although they obviously did these as random checks to many people and I was allowed, to go straight after, something in my head exploded. I felt in great danger. I was very homesick the few weeks I was away and was absolutely convinced I would not make it home. Either someone would plant something in my case and set me up.  The paranoia was intense. It made me sick, I got ill, and lost lots of weight. Of course, I made it home and thought great I am safe.

But this anxiety followed to me. It kept me awake at night, exhausted me. Something terrible was going to happen. I went from a confident outgoing person to a crippling mess. If I drove I was convinced I had hit someone, or hurt them. In my job, I was worried what I was feeling would end up in the letters I typed, that I would make a grave error. It led to catastrophic thinking in thinking the worst that could happen in any situation. In 2010, 4 years since I had travelled I had the opportunity to go to Florida and decided to take it. I was with two of my sisters and two friends. I was nervous about going but as soon as I arrived I knew it was a mistake. Panic set in, I felt trapped like I couldn’t’ breathe. I was on the holiday of a lifetime year every part was torture to me.

I knew something had to change. I felt I had no quality of life. I had lost all my confidence and became deeply depressed. To be blunt life didn’t feel worth living and the thought of ending it all seemed very appealing. A way out from the permanent darkness I was in.

“Anxiety is the most silently painful experience. It makes no sense and you sit there alone and suffer for an unknown reason. You can’t explain it. You can’t stop it. It’s horrible”.

After visiting the GP who was very understanding, he set me up to have six sessions of CBT. I felt quite sceptical that NOTHING or NO ONE could ever help me live a ‘normal’ anxiety-free life. It was the best decision I ever made. To sit and talk to someone and literally spill out all the scariest thoughts that I had built up and know I wouldn’t be judged was such a relief, to untangle the wires in my brain that had become so tied up, so many knots. I learnt anxiety is simply just fear. My brain giving me the wrong signals. I had got used to thinking this way all the time.

I set myself goals including going on a cruise for a week and for the first time in a long time I felt I enjoyed it. I then changed jobs as my currently job was not helping my mental health and situation.

“Fear… is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story … I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brace”.

I am not saying I don’t ever suffer from, or get anxiety at all. It is always there but I now have a good quality of life. I can generally talk sense into myself when it gets too much although there have been times since I have had moments of relapses. I never thought I would get up day-to-day and not feel crippled the moment I started my day.

There are many people out there suffering anxiety right now and not living a good quality of life, unable to reach their potential. I would strongly recommend CBT. I have also learnt that anxiety is a liar.

FEAR

When we avoid situations, we are confirming in our mind that our anxiety is true. It is small steps. However, in order to conquer our fears, we have to face them. I don’t know what your situation may be, there are so many different things that affect us as individuals. I still really dislike travelling, I really don’t like it however I do it, it’s not necessarily an enjoyment but I will never recover or put my anxiety to bed unless I push myself.

“You gain strength, courage & confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.  You are able to say to yourself, I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do”. – Eleanor Roosevelt

“Some day your pain will become the source of your strength. Face it. Brave it. YOU WILL MAKE IT”.

 

Meditation & Mental Health

5 Apr

Yoga is not only used as exercise but has also been known to have a large positive impact on mental health wellbeing because of its calming, relaxing techniques and sense of community. It can help restore mind and body harmony.

Different poses in yoga can help different parts of the body with its focuses on breathing, physical and mental ability. Many people have been helped through depression, stress and anxiety because of the positive benefits of yoga.

When a person suffers from depression some of the common symptoms are lack of sleep so you feel tired a lot of the time, difficulty in concentration, negative thoughts and irritable. This can also then make you feel extremely stressed, uptight and tense, the depression and stress could then make a person feel anxious. Life can feel out of control causing fear and panic.

Yoga has both physical and mental disciplines. So much can happen in people’s lives throughout a day whether it is caring for family, health issues, and work stress. Yoga disciplines people to take time out, instead of thinking and worrying all the time. Dealing with depression, stress or anxiety can put your body under so much strain alone. Thinking constantly and worrying about situations before they occur, erratic breathing, feelings of tiredness and hopelessness, life these days can feel like you are on a rollercoaster that goes round constantly with no time to stop and think. This is where yoga can really work, by taking from 5 minutes as and when you get time up to over an hour a day depending on a person’s time and routine helps you to stop and solely focus.

One of the big things yoga concentrates on is breathing. It helps calm and focus the mind giving relief. If you are feeling very anxious usually your breathing will be quite erratic. Yoga will help regulate breathing and regulate tension by using various postures. One popular posture used is sitting down on the floor or lying flat, letting your body relax and take deep breaths through the nose, breathing slowly and deeply brings oxygen to the lowest part of your lungs and exercises your diaphragm. The yoga breathing teaches us to breathe through the nose, to lengthen our exhalation, increasing our physical and mental health. By concentrating solely on your breath as you inhale and exhale you learn to focus on the breathing and relax rather than on the feelings of anxiety and stress. Breathing exercises are something that can be practised anywhere, so if stress at work was a factor it can even be practised sitting in an office chair.

When a person is stressed some of the symptoms can be a faster heartbeat, increased blood pressure, difficulty relaxing and focusing the mind, headaches and tense muscles. Some episodes of the stress and the symptoms can then cause anxiety and depression. Yoga helps decrease physiological arousal – that’s the heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration. In order to change exaggerated stress response it is necessary to become familiar with relaxation. Yoga practice provides the time and space to experience the sensations of the body, and to interpret them. Is the breath short, are the muscles tense?

By learning to relax in yoga this reduces production of stress hormone cortisol and improves the ability to manage stressful situations as well as other benefits which can come along with stress, anxiety and depression such as, greater energy and focus, improved muscle tone and cardiovascular health. Greater levels of happiness, self-confidence and an increase in job satisfaction.

Everyone suffers from anxiety at one point or another in their life but chronic anxiety can have quite an impact on the body after a while. When people have a lot of anxiety and do not exercise this causes tense muscles, constricted breathing and the mind never rests because of all the thoughts and feelings that come along with it. Yoga with music is great for anxiety, playing music that a person enjoys and finds particularly relaxing helps sooth the body. People with anxiety can try to keep busy to escape what they are feeling and thinking but it has been said that yoga helps the body to access an inner strength. This can help face the overwhelming thoughts, fears and frustrations of everyday life. By practising the exercises that yoga recommends daily this causes the body to release tensions from the large muscle groups and increase feelings of well-being, and encourage the body to breathe deeply.

In his book The Science of Yoga, writer William Broad assesses yoga’s ability to improve our mental health. He said:

*“The portrait that emerges from the decades of mood and metabolic studies is of a discipline that succeeds brilliants at smoothing the ups and downs of emotional life. It uses relaxation, breathing and postures to bring about an environment of inner bending and stretching. The current evidence seems to suggest that yoga can reduce despair and hopelessness to the point of saving lives”.* – The Science of Yoga, The risks & rewards by William J Broad – Page 87